Thursday, May 13, 2010

Lessons Learned are never learned

I sit here sadly and chuckle at myself, I have to, or my mind will take me down paths of day dreams, happy endings and such things that are best left alone. School has become a struggle, as I am not mentally there anymore. I have to wonder, what is the use of having something when it brings you nothing. Will this bring me gratification, happiness, wholeness, peace? I think not! I know not! For such things are elusive, and not of this world apparently for there is no such thing as miracles!

I realize now I cannot save the world, when I cannot save my own self and or others from pain, sorrow, disappointment, shame or even humiliation. I am no super hero, I cry, I bleed, breath, I desire and so much more, but to what end?

I once was so bold I told someone “There is nothing that cannot be said or done to me that I cannot handle, as I have heard it all, and been faced with it all”. I know I will never be so arrogant again. I have such a tired soul anymore; I just do not know what to do. Which way is up, down, left, or right.

My only solace is that when it is my time, maybe God will not reject me, for I am human, although not such a good one. Lol… I will not hold my breath for I am sure even He will turn his back on me as well, and there will be no peace.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Well it's finally here!

Well Unit 10 is here, and I cannot get over that yet another term coming to an end. I still tend to find it overwhelming when I realize I am going to college at my age. It kind of makes me teary eyed when I think about it. Not only did I go into college thinking I had all the deck stacked against me at my age, but I new I needed to do well. My children are watching me grow through my next greatest adventure, besides them. I can only hope they realize it is never to late to start life for one is never to old or young if you do it right and with dignity. LOL... Don't get me wrong, even I have thrown my hands up a time or two and said "what was I thinking?" But you know, I cherish even the hard moments as my children remind me to breath and show the world it is my time to shine.

I wish you all luck and remember, never give up for if you are going through it someone, somewhere, is too. So continue to show the world what you are made of and shine.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Unit 9 is here!!!

Unit 9 is here along with insanity as I scramble to get it all done. My hope is to find time to sleep, eat, and finish this week so my most pressing thing in Unit 10 (finals week) is studying for my exam. LOL... There is a but as my printer ink ran out. Grrr... I so depend on finishing my finals papers by printing them, then walking and reading with a pencil in hand. I think best on my feet, darn now I am going to have to think on my Gluteus Maximus (butt). Hehe... Sorry had to use the med term, I love the way it sounds, and who cannot use some humor at this point in the school term? : D

I wish you all the best of luck and may you have a wonderful week. Do not forget to breath!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Rushing this week.

Well this is going to have to be a quick blog this week. We are coming close to the end of term, and it never feels like there will be enough time to get everything done.

Just got over a virus that hit me hard Monday night after classes. I took the better part of the last two days off as I was facing burn out. Why doesn't matter, but with just under two weeks till both of my finals papers are due there just isn't much time for much else. I hope everyone else is doing fine with their papers and not stressing to much. Apologies to those I never got to look at their papers when I said I would, but I was not feeling well at all, and struggled with my class work last week.

May you all have a wonderful week and may it be blessed.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

“Peer Reviews”

Peer reviews are a good thing in my eyes, as they enable us as writers to grow. Be it in the direction we are going, or by enabling us to look at our writing, and find better paths allowing one to become a stronger, more creative writer. I have had a few peer reviews. I have not had a bad one yet. Although I would not mind a bit more constructive criticism, as I know my writing is more often than not just rough drafts because my brain wants to move onto the next thing begging to be written.

ROFLOL… The ‘”Ah Ha’” moments, who hasn’t had one? I know I have. They are great, for as a writer that means you do not stop thinking, even when you think you are done writing. These moments can also be very humbling.

I have found nothing shocking in doing research for my writings. This would insinuate, I was only looking for what I wanted to find, without being open minded to the fact that I do not know it all, and I could be wrong. Although intriguing yes, just the process of research along is amazingly intriguing. When one thinks about it, the world has changed so much over the years, allowing one to find, and gather information that just might not have been obtainable before the great World Wide Web. This intrigues me and just makes me hungry for more information.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Unit 6 for College Comp II...

Wow this week has been a challenge to get things done. Almost have my rough draft done to my satisfaction. Although, I still have more I wish to do with it. I am just grateful that A & P II is going to be easy for me this week. We are studying the Urinary System, and it is also my final project topic for A & P II. *sigh of relief*

One other point on my side is I did my outline for this weeks A & P project last week. All I need to do is put it to word and submit it. *another sigh of relief*

This truly has been one of my toughest weeks sense I started school 4 terms ago. I so need a break or some fun, lol... Anyone else? I have officially decided tomorrow will be the first time in a long time that I refuse to set an alarm and get up before I wake up on my own. Then I think my Valentin present to myself will be going to the park and just relax with a book, any book, that is not school related.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Straying from the path...

Well I guess I am going to stray from the path of writing about academia. I guess we all need to let go, and show our inner side from time to time.

This is late as I have been on a roller coaster ride this week. Sometimes life just gets hard. Sadly there's no giant band-aid to cover the boo boos. This has been one of those weeks, when I need the band aid, but that hasn't stopped me from being there for others, when I don't want to be. But I did learn something about myself. I can handle far more pain than I ever thought I could. lol... As if there hasn't been enough of it in my life. I envy everyone that can have a normal life and be normal. I am human! I bleed, breath and feel. What most don't realize is I cry when they cry, I absorbed their pain, and sometimes I don't know how to let it go. I am finding this hard as I face my own fears, doubts, and pains, for often times what I do for others reminds me of my own stuff. I am thinking I need to learn Yoga or something. I sure do need some sun shine so I might resume my walks. this so helps me to throw off others sadness's. lol... I am done venting and feel better already just by sharing, I never get to share, just take it all in. Thank you for listening, it does help.